Southern African American Diary Entry

Dear Diary,
As I have confided in you all of my deepest secrets, I feel it safe to say that I have written in to the Defender today. You know, the newspaper which I have mentioned before that I have read and like so very much. In today’s paper, my eye caught a liking to the jobs section labeled for the north. If only I could get my family up there. I wrote to the Defender in order to question the jobs available. Especially since I refuse to leave my family here in the South, I had questioned whether the job would allow my family to stay together. As bad as things have gotten in the South, and especially with my son’s continued big lip, I am afraid not only for our stomachs but for our reputation. I do not want to get word that my wife or children have been harmed in any way. I would feel responsible if that happens and I have not tried in every way possible to get our situation better.
I also included in the letter about my friends. There are several of them here that do not know how to read still, and want to get out of the South. Especially the ones with families to think of, we all just want better living. Work is the first thing on our agenda, because money is what puts food on our tables. My littlest boy complains every time I mention maybe having to pull him from school. He loves it so much, and my wife says he works and practices so hard every day at home. I want better for him. I want better for all of them.
I fear still for our safety here in the South. I have heard about the happenings in Tulsa and know that without even meeting the boy accused, that he was wrongly accused. I wish that things could get better. I wish that the life that American’s leaders claim to be was actually the way they were. They’re nothing of this life of freedom that immigrants think they’re coming into. That being said though, immigrants coming to America make my situation worse. They come in search of jobs, and even though some companies hate immigrants more than they dislike the blacks of the town, they get the jobs. If I were ever put up against an immigrant for my job, the immigrant would win. This in itself scares me.
Even if we do decide to move to the North, it must stay a secret until we are gone. The whites here would do anything they could in order to keep us here in the South. As much as they hate us, for some reason they don’t want us to leave. Any kind of rumor that gets started about blacks doing anything against the Anglo’s desire will end badly. Rumors have caused so many of my people to lose their lives. As in Rosewood, the simple rumor of a black man being with a white woman can easily turn fatal. They don’t understand that we are simply trying to better ourselves and our families.
As much as I hate that I can’t provide for my family as I believe I should, I am proud to be an African American. My roots are strong, and I believe that my children’s generation will see a better time for freedom. We have come so far from the slave days. My parents talk about how life used to be, and that I should be content with the way things are now. But, I am not content with the conditions that I am living in now. I want more for myself, but mainly I want more for my family. My race deserves equality just like any other here in America.
Tonight that is all the time I have. My wife has just put the children to bed, and I cherish every moment I have with her. She does so much, and is so strong. If every African American man and woman had her strength, we would be writing a completely different story. But, that is for another night.

Tomorrow shall bring a better day,
John